they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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