and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
