hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
