I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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