i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
did i just pee glitter
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
