would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize