So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
