Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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