speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
