No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Acid is not a monday night drug
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
