Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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