Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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