I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
