margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
