and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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