Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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