Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize