You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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