You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
