Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
