My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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