She said her name was "party"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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