question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
