every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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