what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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