Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
