I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
they need to just BURY HIM!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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