Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize