u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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