i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
