I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
