No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
