Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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