From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
why is half of my head shaved?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
