16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
