he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
