Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
