I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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