Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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