you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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