so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize