i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
