Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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