I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
