Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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