I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
