OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
