hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize