I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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