What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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