We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
