1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize