Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
