Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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