Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
