He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
