were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
