Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
