Tell her she can't have a vagina
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
