I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
