I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
