What a fucking waste of an outfit
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
