i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Shame is for Republicans.
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