Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Blood and glitter go together right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
