No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize