they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
