Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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