Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Randomize
