I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
